7/2/2023 0 Comments Spongebob cosmic shake![]() Dreadfully simplistic jumping puzzles and combat against the same handful of enemies who posed absolutely no challenge wore thin quickly. In one of the dullest platformers in recent memory, Cosmic Shake serves up a recipe that’s almost identical to that of its predecessor and had me nodding off as I played. ![]() It’s been almost 20 years since the release of SpongeBob SquarePants: Battle for Bikini Bottom – and just over two since the “Rehydrated” remaster reminded us of how poorly that game’s mechanics have aged – and it’s shocking how little that formula has evolved for this followup. That’s what makes it a massive bummer that Cosmic Shake falls so woefully short when it comes to actual gameplay. So although Cosmic Shake does benefit from the quirky SpongeBob characters and their world, as a platformer it’s a terribly bland journey that feels painfully frozen in time even as the fans of the show have continued to age (also painfully). ![]() And yet, like a collapsing Squidward Souffle, SpongeBob SquarePants: The Cosmic Shake dried up my optimism the more I played: it’s merely a thin, by-the-numbers sequel to the 20-year-old Bikini Bottom rather than the ground-up redesign that absorbs the progress genre heroes like Mario or Ratchet and Clank have made in the decades since that we deserve. While 2003’s SpongeBob SquarePants: Battle for Bikini Bottom proved it could be done, we’ve been in dire need of a modern take on that idea starring everyone’s favorite fry cook. Through it all, the porous goofball I’ve known for years feels like the perfect mascot for an over-the-top, cartoonish platformer. Whether I’m enjoying my favorite memes or going back to rewatch one of the only cartoons I still legitimately laugh at as an adult, it’s hard to understate SpongeBob SquarePants’ influence on my life.
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